For the love of elliptical?!!!

What makes a person get up at the butt crack of dawn to climb on a machine that clearly was engineered by some madman that hates the human race and has some diabolical plot for us all to fall over in a sweaty heap?! I understand the motivation for the young.....you know to stay young and sexy....and desirable and have that appreciation from the opposite sex, but at my age? Well of course I want to be healthy...and feel good, and ward off muscle loss...and all the other scary things that happen as I get older. But, I'm greedy.....I want to see the same results I saw when I was younger.....if I worked out at this intensity when I was younger holy crap....somebody would've been wanting my autograph I'm pretty sure, at least on the copy of my latest workout video. Now I step off.....or stagger off would probably be more appropriate, the elliptical machine, my t-shirt sticking to me with sweat and all I see in the mirror is a red sweaty face and I swear it's the same body.....every day! Yes I feel better, and yes I have less stress, and yes I can tell in small ways that it is doing some good......but where are the whistles.....the men begging for my time.....the rich man that wants to sweep me off of my feet and buy me all the lovely clothes? Ah well I guess that illusion along with the "little tiny butt" belongs to the young....so for me I guess I'll be content with "hey, she's not bad for and old chick".